I am the ONE in Eight

     It's National Infertility Awareness Week this week.  I have to say that I am so impressed by the publicity it is getting this week.  I have seen so media outlets running stories about infertility stories, facts, and individuals and it makes me happy to see such an important cause that affects so many getting the coverage it deserves.  Believe it or not, infertility affects one in eight couples.  Like its good friend cANCER, it does not discriminate.  It affects all ages, races, genders, social economic levels, etc. 35% of cases is a male problem, 35% is a female problem, 20% are both, and 10% are unexplained.  That being said, you know a handful of people facing infertility right now, even if they aren't talking about it.  Let me do the talking for them so you can get a glimpse into what they are going through.

Infertility is.....overwhelming.  There are so many doctors appointments, often every other day.  There are so many bills, usually insurance doesn't pay.  There are so many decisions, ones you're sure you're not ready to make.  All of it is overwhelming.

Infertility is.....a life on hold.  You never know what procedures are around the corner next month, so maybe you can't take that trip.  You never know if you "might" be pregnant, so you aren't sure about that drink.  You never know what bills are on their way, so you don't want to spend your money. Always waiting creates a life on hold.

Infertility is.....exhausting.  Literally from all the meds.  Figuratively because you are on a meery-go-round that you want off of so badly, but you just can't get it to stop.  So many emotions is exhausting.

Infertility is.....constant pain.  With infertility, you are always sad.  Every single day.  Getting in your car and seeing the stroller on the sidewalk.  Turning on the tv and watching the diaper commercial.  Hopping on Facebook and reading all the baby updates.  Reminders are everywhere everyday.  We may hide it well, but we are always in constant pain.

HOWEVER....

Infertility does.....make you stronger.  Its pretty amazing to be able to look at something you were almost certain would break you and to see how far you've come.  It's pretty inspiring to be in a 4 year marriage that has weathered more challenges that most 50 year marriages and love that person even more than you did before.  I am stronger than I ever thought I would have to be, but grateful for the new found strength.

Infertility does.....force you to count your blessings.  A good day.  A smile for no reason.  Tulips blooming outside.  A glass of wine with girlfriends.  Weekday breakfasts before work with my husband.  A text or call reminding me I have someone on the other end who cares.  A "Best Teacher" note from a student.  So many blessings that I now see every single day that I used to take for granted...that alone is a blessing for sure.

Infertility does...NOT define you.  My infertility journey probably will be my life's defining story, but not because of the fact I can't conceive a baby on my own.  It defines me because of the person I have become through the process.  The person I have CHOSEN to become on this journey.  I am not where I want to be yet, but I am more of the person I want to be than before this journey.  It has made me better in ways that I never thought it could, and for that, I am grateful.